Dear lord...i m realli in a dilema...pls tell me what to do..n pls help me overcome this period of exam period...amen...

Haha..i didnt do much today..except to study and then called weiling to chit chat..then online to do that optics report..kaoz...realli feel so tired...which is a good thing..coz this means that i wont toss n turn in bed till 12 plus..haha..tomolo still have optics test..well..i have studied all i can...hope that i can at least do well for this 6 credit module..haha..btw..did i mention that my 'sheperd' has finally thought of her batipsm name? It's called JOY...quite a nice name...she told me that while she was jogging today, god spoke to her n told her that she is going to bring joy to the world, which leads to her using that name...well..i tink i m pretty drained to blog anymore..haha..shall end here...nitez guys...=D

Haha...today is easter day..but well..i spent it at hm..studying my anatomy...actually i oso didnt feel like bloggin de..but well..i m bored to death..dun feel like studying anymore...tired and drained..haha..erm...ytd went for easter day service...brought joyce there too...i kind of enjoyed the service...realli feel that god has somehow filled the emptiness in my life...realli thank god that my studies have improved and realli thank god for all the things that he have given me in my life..my frens, a complete family, ample care and concern from the pple ard me... Today...was staying at hm the whole day...coz havent finish studying anatomy..haha..then now study finish le..nth to do..dun tink i will be able to fall aslp so early today..haha..then just now...was trying to find those chocolate eggs..coz easter day mah, then would like to buy sth for my frens..but i cant find..sobz..haha..think i shall go out earlier to find them tomolo..haha..as for tomolo's test...guys who are studying out there...all the best...may god bless!!~

Sucks...

Thanks vic...muackz..realli appreciate what u have blogged...well..i somehow feel tat should delete away that entry..coz it's a sin to grumble...haha..but well..if i always delete my entry, i might as well delete away my whole blog..haha..actually today also nth much to blog..was spending my day at hm studying today..coz ytd didnt do much revision..was at church...haiz...exams coming le...sianz..haha..all the best guys...study hard and study smart...=p

szehui... realli thanks a lot tat day fer accompanyin me do my RWP report... thanks fer helping me oso... anyway~ realli surprise 2 see u rush dwn 2 CO on wed.. wat u have done.. realli warmed my hearT! it encourages me too.. and i think SPCO still gt hopE!! haha!!! think maybe the tokin tat day does sound sense 2 u... aniway... jiayou!! continue and do well!!!! dun ever think tat u dun have frenz lo.. u have alot of great frenz ard u!!!~ look ard u~ appreciate them... maybe those tat u sometimes think are irritating... and keep kpoing abt ur life... maybe they are de ones tat will stick fer u wholeheartedly lo.. they kpo abt ur life coz they wanna know hw are u..~ although some are juz kpoing juz fer de sake of kpoing... but at least they care 2 kpo abt u rite?! haha!!! regards saying abt u are selfish.. well... maybe i shld explain again wat i meant that day... actually.. i am saying this coz oso... is actually abt ur mentality.. u are nt a selfish person.. but ur thinking is a bit.. well, maybe is coz u have said... "i have nt gain aniting frm wat i have done lo..." well... sometimes.. sometings tat we do... dun require a must gain... we need 2 oso learn... to give, and to take..~ and regards whoever that person say u keep copyin his work... he/she have no rite 2 judge u!!!~ and his/her work is nt even worth 2 take a peep at!!!~ dun care much on his/her comment!!! he/she is juz being jealous of u..!!! yah..think tats all le...haha!!!~ all de besT!!! =p

I didnt mean to wanna grumble..but if i dun speak my heart now..i dun tink i will be able to continue doing my work..during this week..i must say that alot of things have happened..lstly, someone said that i dun have frens..i m selfish..and today it's the last straw..somebody seem to think that i will want to copy his work...i mean..come on..what's wrong wif me that gives u guys the impression that i m such a downright asshole???? I seriously dun get it...n i m realli offended by what u guys have said...i share my notes wif a fren..yet in the end..that fren commented that i was a selfish person who onli care for myself..i realli feel tat such comments are unjustified...n whenever anyone wants me to send them my report, i wont hesitate to do so..so why is it that i have to face this unjustified comments?? Bleachz..btw..sorry if i offended anyone..but that's sincerely how i feel...

haha..now still at lab wif vic...she got rwp to hand in today..well..didnt manage to do much studying today..was doing that co booklet thingy..then facing the comp for two hours plus and i m extremely drained le...then later still got care group...actually is looking forward to it..but hor..realli veri tired le...haiz...

Well..now is at RWP lesson...well..been thru some things these few days..firstly, was at co room on tue then was studying there, intending to go for my gems class at 3pm..however, well..sth happened...then was in the co room..actually we were just voicing out our opinions on co things...i was just saying that i dun feel happy about some things, then yz said that i should voice it out..then regarding me dun want to be in the committee..well..they convinced me about it...i realised that going to co and being in the committee...all these things are for SPCO, for my frens...n these does not benefit that person whom i dislike..(well..i guess u all noe who i dislike lah..no need to say out..haha..) But well...so that's y after my piano lesson at 8 plus ytd, i went back to co...although it was rather late le..but well..i realli dun want to disappoint lay leng and the spco pple...and i sincerely hope the other yr ones can come down when they have time bah...seriously, if not mani pple come down and the yr threes have left, i realli wonder how SPCO will survive..HAiz..i noe that everybody have reasons for doing some things...perhaps i have not mentally mature enuf to understand their thinking...i must say that i m stubborn, jus like what ling ling, vic and yz has said..well..that's true...but i m realli trying to change le...but no offence lah pple...i realli feel quite hurt about what u guys said that day...i have perhaps lived one quarter of my life, and someone just told me that i m selfish..n someone told me that i tink lowly of myself...etc...well...although i noe that these pple said those things from the bottom of their heart, for my good..but well..it realli hurts..but realli must thank them bah..if not for them, perhaps till now, i still will not realli how stubborn i m..and some things which i didnt understand till now. But sometimes, seriously, i realli feel veri stressed up..i feel that the world is crashing down on me and there is no one that i can relate to...perhaps there is..but i dun want to be a nuisance to anyone...coz everyone has their own life, has their own problems..i realli dun want to impose anyone wif my problems...so this blog shall be where i will vent my stress..haha..so if u dun want to hear me grumble..haha...u can stop reading here le..haha.. Well..for my mom...she wants me to prac piano hard...and get my piano diploma by next yr..which is going to be hard, unless i prac consistently...then as for church, they will like to me go for cell grp and service..then orchestra...they expect me to attend prac and everything..well..i must say that nobody is wrong..but well..everyone only has 24 hours...i dunno how am i going to organise my time to fit all these things into my life...i still have my family to spend time wif..so well..haiz..i have got nth to say le..i go do my rwp stuff le..

okok... i am here 2 blog fer my beloved szehui... haha!!! actually hor.. duno wat 2 blog fer her oso leh.. oh man.. haha!!! aniway... szehui ar... dun tink so lowly of urself!!! have confidence in urself~ believe in urself~ dun think tat u cant do certain things well... even if u had tried sometings and yet u fail.... hang on to it... de guy hu invent lightbulb.... errr.. i forget that guys name... onli noe is albert eninsine?! haha!! duno hw 2 spell.. aniway.. he also fail alot of times... and yet he never give up!!! and nw he is one of de greatest inventor~ realli~ believe in urself!!! dun stress too much... when u get too tired~ always ask God for de strengtH!!! ask and u shall be given!!! realli~ and oso... With God nothing is impossible..!!! so dun always think tat u cant do certain things well k?~ and oso..voice out!!! learn 2 voice out..!!! realli glad to heard u at least voice out a bit regards de publication thingy 2 Layleng.. but still!!! voice out more!!! dun fear!!! For God have nt given us de spirit of fear!!! always seek Him when u are in need... He will guide u thru every single step tat u take!!! yah... haha!! ----end of msg---- by Victoria...~ =p

Well..spent my day at hm..wif the intention of studying..but well..didnt realli study much and till now havent finish my revision for microbio..perhaps will continue it later..haha..erm..ytd...revised abit on other modules..then went to church...the service is realli meaningful and fun..haha...then afterwhich, went to have dinner wif them...actually wanted to have dinner wif my sis and her bf de..then end up they wanted to go tiong bahru eat wherease she told me that they were going to eat at orchard..so after having dinner wif my church frens..then wait for the brothers who ate at S11...then we went back hm..i realli feel tat saturdays spent gg to church is meaningful..but hopefully it wont affect m results bah..haha..btw..guys out there..there's a Easter Day service on 26th march..if u r interested, do gimme a call..=p..on friday, after sch, i went to a fren's house wif a grp of church pple to watch passion of the christ. Coz that time i under m18, so could not watch that show..well..that show realli abit gruesome..especially the part where jesus was tortured...but it was a meaningful movie though...made me see lots of things in life...well..now got that ru hua show..haha..think i go n watch le..blog again next time..haha..=p..

Haha..feeling much better spiritually..haha..well..was realli kind of not like myself these few days..msg the mushrooms and apologised..coz i felt that i was become more short tempered recently...well...after reflecting...i was just wondering..y do i have to be feeling unhappy?? God only gave us the chance to live once...so i might as well live happily..haha..well..i read a book ytd..it is more of those christian books lah..dun mean to preach here..but there was a sentence which left an impact in the mind...it was saying about...made everyday worth, loving others and the pple ard u...so i was starting to wonder..how much quality time do i spend wif my frens and family members. Well..have to admit that i was kind of isolating myself to a corner to be alone sometimes...dunno y...n somehow...i know that i have changed...i noe that time changes everyone...but well..my change is not positive..coz i have became more uncaring...and well...dun seem to noe how to love my frens..in my opinion that's how i feel...perhaps my expectation of loving my frens is too high..but i believe that i will somehow do it one day in the near future.. Well..ytd was a long day in sch...after class,i went down to co room wif the intention of studying..but harrison, victoria and peicheng came..then it was kinda noisy..so didnt get much work done..then after that, went to take train wif victoria..haha..n i realised sth veri funny...she was doing some big business in the toilet..then she realised that her notes were missing..coz i suppose she wanted to take her notes out and read in the toilet..haha..then after reaching hm..went to 'shop and save' to buy ice-cream...for my dad's bdae...haha... Today, i came to sch at 8am...got some pple coming over to introduce the optical instruments which we were supposed to buy..and it cost a bomb loh..haha..but i dun tink i m the one paying..haha..then after that, had one plus hour of chris ng's lesson...n we beat the lunch crowd..and now, i m in the library..have two hours break...just now after lunch,went to find my gems teaher straight away...i must admit that my gems teacher is realli a man of wisdom..i will realli feel much better after chatting wif him..n i was just tinking..how nice it would be if i had a dad like him..coz i m not exactly veri close to my dad...to the extent that i dun tink he noes what i m studying in poly...and well..whenever i have problems, there isnt much pple that i can tok to..which is quite a sad fact...but well..since god gave me this family, i will treasure it as much as i can..haha..tink i shall end here bah...take care guys...may god bless u...('',)

Well..now is during RWP lesson...suddenly had such a thought...well..just kind of feel that nobody in the entire world understands me...perhaps nobody ever will..well..no offence to anyone..sorry...n just last nite..a thought just that suddenly struck me...well...sometimes i just feel tat my existence doesnt matter to anyone...i once told one of my close fren that even if i go out wif a certain grp of frens, i wouldnt be surprised if they didnt wait for me to go off together coz they forgot about me...n this was proved rite last nite..well...so i guess it's true that u dun reap what u sow..rite? Sometimes when u put in effot in friendship, u dun seem to reap what u have sow..well..i guess that's life...

Today..had a long day of lesson..then after which, went to orchard to watch 'A moment to remember' wif weiling, xiu ping and li hua...the movie was so so so veri touching...while watching, i was just wondering, if one day i could find a guy who loves me as much as i love him..well...that would just be so good..but well...i find that a bit hard...so i guess i better stop day dreaming..haha..erm..i tink i better go and do my co booklet le..or not tonite no need to slp le..haha..gtg..bb..

I m now at comp lab...wif melissa and weiling...coz melissa havent finish doing her report....then later still got to go co..haha..erm..let me recall what i did today... Today...was quite an unlucky day for me...a bit later than usual for sch...then now is take mrt...then have to walk from mrt station to mac alone..so ke lian!!!~ then after that, had ms lek's lesson...recently, quite stressed up leh...realli feel quite guilty about not practising much of piano..but hor..if i tell mr lee i dun have time for co...then he will sure say alot...@#$%^...Later still got to go co...a bit sian...haha...hsien han's bdae is just ard the corner...haha..i wonder where are my ai tus going after their olvls...haha..now while i m typing, ms weiling is reading...veri weird...haha...btw...that ms weiling wanted me to add...while i was bloggin in the lab...got one guy suddenly mentioned sth about c-kway...then weiling now still laughing....-.-'''...

I m now at comp lab...wif melissa and weiling...coz melissa havent finish doing her report....then later still got to go co..haha..erm..let me recall what i did today... Today...was quite an unlucky day for me...a bit later than usual for sch...then now is take mrt...then have to walk from mrt station to mac alone..so ke lian!!!~ then after that, had ms lek's lesson...recently, quite stressed up leh...realli feel quite guilty about not practising much of piano..but hor..if i tell mr lee i dun have time for co...then he will sure say alot...@#$%^...Later still got to go co...a bit sian...haha...hsien han's bdae is just ard the corner...haha..i wonder where are my ai tus going after their olvls...haha..now while i m typing, ms weiling is reading...veri weird...haha...btw...that ms weiling wanted me to add...while i was bloggin in the lab...got one guy suddenly mentioned sth about c-kway...then weiling now still laughing....-.-'''...

haha...today got two tests...tat RWP and that physiology...shit lah...i tink my sch work getting worse le...siar lah....today that two test hor..haiz..haha..well..today actually got revise another time at the library during break time for my physiology..but hor..those that i studied..didnt come out..then those that i briefly touched on came out...%^&*()...haha..but forget it lah...shall work harder next time...well..today thur le..now still havent prac piano, havent bathe, havent finish CO booklet...haha..then now still online...that xh hor..realli veri bian tai...dun c him like veri guai...haha..u r wrong...looks can be deceiving loh...i eat sweet hor..then can tink till veri veri far into some bian tai things...realli pei fu him...haha..well..tomolo still got co prac..havent prac..sianz..haha..well..think i go bathe le..haha..cya!!!